Anal Itch & Anal Sex Competition
Question From Listener: I’ve been listening to your videos for a few weeks. I still don’t get your preoccupation with anal sex. I’ve been with my husband since the mid-1990s. Sometimes we do anal. Sometimes we don’t. But that sex act has never negative affected our relationship. I mean obviously if one’s not into it, then they shouldn’t do it. But I’ve found it to be a great bonding activity between the two of us.
Answer from Paul:
If you cared about your life more and if you wanted to make a difference in this world, you would think deeper and recognize the necessity for universals that make healthy social space powerful. You seem to be too young to understand the implications of individual behavior on group behaviors.
Irrationality of any kind is the enemy of healthy social bonding. Anal sex is irrational to such degree (disassociation from the body) that it cannot be part of any legitimate culture, community, family, or any social construct. Healthy social structures (community, family) require rational value systems because human beings bond exclusively via rational patterns of behaviors.
The negative effect that anal sex has on your relationship is imperceptible for most men. You’d need to be an empath or a highly sensitive person to immediately perceive the negative sensations and emotions right after anal intercourse – especially as a bottom. The top is often a narcissist who is in denial about what he is doing to his bottom.
This denial is the essence of the learned narcissism and phony entitlement (I am top therefore I am better) and when I fuck him it is a sign of love (while in reality, it is a mutilation of the organ). Most people can sustain these dynamics in their 20’s and perhaps 30’s, but sooner or later it comes back to hit everyone in their head like a heavy brick falling from the sky. This is when (40’s and 50’s) most gay men realize their lives have been mostly phony – inside socially conditioned pretend games that gay men play with each other. To love and to be loved – one has to love intentionally with the mind, the body, and the spirit.
Anal sex breaks that symmetry and invalidates the mind. It causes a contradiction that if accepted produces cognitive dissonance and a state of denial and later delusion.
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