Breakups can be painful and difficult on so many difficult levels. The ending of a relationship, a close friendship, and the dreams that you shared with your significant other are just a few of the things you lose. So, when are you ready to move forward to a new relationship without any of the ill effects of your past relationship? You can ask yourself these questions.
1. You only think of your past significant other occasionally. They no longer occupy your thoughts. You can’t move forward with someone new, if you are mentally focused on someone else. During a breakup your primary focus in on your ex, what could have happened, what if things were different, what if you would have said something at the right time. Once you have finished processing your past relationship it will no longer be a primary force in your life.
2. You no longer get upset when dealing with your ex. There will come a time, when dealing with your past significant other will become nothing more than dealing with any other annoying person.
3. You have stopped trying to please your past love. Once a breakup has occurred you are not under obligation to please your ex. You no longer do the special things that you would do for them. You do not do special favors for them such as shoveling their sidewalks when it snows.
4. Your ex does not come up in conversations with your friends. We all speak about what is important to us, so when you notice you are no longer chatting about your ex, you can move on.
5. The romantic feelings are gone. We all have romantic feelings towards our ex partner right after the breakup. There will come a time when you stop fantasizing about a future with them.
6. You can accept that your ex can find a new romantic interest. Feelings of jealousy depart when you no longer have an emotional tie to your past partner.
7. You are no longer angry at your ex. During a breakup feelings of anger are likely to come about. When the former partner no longer stir anger, you are emotionally detached.
You must not move forward into a new quality relationship until you have reached these ideals. If you are still emotionally involved with your past partner you are able to devote yourself to your new partner. You wouldn’t want your new romantic interest to still be focused on their ex partner. You will get resolution towards your ex partner. It will happen.
The opposite of love isn’t hate is apathy. Once you have reached the state of apathy you are truly ready to go forward and enjoy what a new positive relationship may bring. Make sure your ready, and make sure who you are involved with feels that their ex is no longer an issue in their life. It is worth waiting for, you want your next relationship to benefit from the lessons learned from your past relationships.