Video: What is a toxic gay relationship?
Discover how you can identify if you are in a toxic gay relationship.
How to protect yourself from toxic relationships for the rest of your gay life
Did you know that most relationships are toxic? Close to 90% of all gay relationships contain elements of heavy toxicity. This is why good role models are quite rare.
So first let’s define a toxic gay relationship:
To be a toxic gay relationship one man only needs to lack basic communication skills or basic relating skills. This includes authenticity, transparency, vulnerability and self-disclosure. Every relationship will be toxic if those components are not present.
Because “you cannot read your partner’s mind”. Unless he tells you what he wants – via authenticity, vulnerability and self-disclosure – you cannot meet his needs.
He eventually gets angry, yet doesn’t not what he is angry about because he himself is disconnected from explicit identification of his feelings and needs and he starts to project onto you his own fears or frustrations.
Can you have a toxic relationship even though partners are authentic and transparent?
Absolutely! Two guys can still create never-ending conflict in their relationship. How? By not being compatible. They might have great sex, but outside of the bedroom they might have very little in common.
This always ends in a breakup or in a toxic relationship that can last for 30 years. Many gay couples brag about “being together for 30 years” and the only thing you see are the emotional scars of their toxicity and unspoken desires and needs.
The only way you can avoid toxic relationships is by increasing your dating-competence. You can start by learning about gay compatibility and basic gay psychology. You don’t need to become a master, but fundamental concepts about partner selection are helpful.
And what is the first step?
The first step is knowing who to date and why. This includes his physical traits, socio-demographic traits, his psycho-graphics, his family background, relationship history, personality type and communication style. Nothing in a gay man’s personal life will happen automatically – he will need to create it.
Unlike straight people – gay men don’t have the reinforcement by parents, friends and teachers – so most gay men are left to their own opinions and ideas. But if those opinions and ideas are not working – then the only next step is to acquire that knowledge and change the approach.
The good news is that only recently such knowledge became widely popular with gay life coaching and the programs that Paul created for his clients. Anyone who wants to fall in love the smart way can discover how to find his perfect match by following the simple steps as outlined in Paul’s compatibility program which is called “Gay Compatibility Formula”. Anyone can access that program by clicking here: Gay Compatibility Formula.