Video: Covert cycle of pain for gay men over 40 and what you need to do to get out fast.

This trap is so common that every gay guy falls into it.  It “hurts” to be alone and you end up choosing a toxic partner.

How to permanently escape the covert cycle of relationship pain and be free

Relationships are not meant to be painful.  Nor does being single.  Both places should be filled with joy and excitement. So why do most gay men over 40 fall into toxic relationships or feel the pain while being single?

Most gay men rarely learn anything about relationships and dating. They assume that it will happen automatically, as though it is supposed to happen by the invisible hands of God…who will put a handsome guy in their way at a bookstore or at some party.

The above rarely happens in real life. Maybe in Harlequin books, but not in reality.

Here is what happens in reality:

If a gay man wants to be successful in gay dating and gay relationships he must become competent in basic concepts of gay psychology.  Specifically, the first thing that every gay man needs to master is the concept of compatibility.  Otherwise he will keep on choosing toxic men and stay in pain for the rest of his life.

This is more serious than just picking the right partner.

If a man experiences failed relationships over and over, he will eventually come to a conclusion that relationships are lots of work and lots of drama. And this is where helplessness and anxieties start to build – leading the man into years of bitterness and “bitchiness”.

If only he learned a few things about how to choose the right partner, then he would never have experienced the negativity and pain and his current perspective would be optimistic and enthusiastic – which is the way it works when a gay man chooses only compatible partners.


All relationships follow a progression of steps and at each step you need to do the right thing – the question is do most gay men know what the right thing is?  The answer is: Not at all!

And what is the first step?

The first step is knowing who to choose and why so that every other step is simpler and easier – not quite automatic but close to it.  Nothing in a gay man’s personal life will happen automatically – he will need to create it and put more energy into it.

Unlike straight people – gay men don’t have the reinforcement by parents, friends and teachers – so most gay men are left to their own opinions and ideas.  But if those opinions and ideas are not working – then the only next step is to acquire that knowledge and change the approach.

The good news is that only recently such knowledge became widely popular with gay life coaching and the programs that Paul created for his clients.  Anyone who wants to fall in love the smart way can discover how to find his perfect match by following the simple steps as outlined in Paul’s compatibility program which is called “Gay Compatibility Formula”.  Anyone can access that program by clicking here: Gay Compatibility Formula.