There are three parts to understand about gay sexuality that will help you see why so many gay men make sex the center of their lives.
- Many gay men are obsessed about sexuality because they are not validated for their emotions and their “sense of being”. Emphasis on sex is a compensation for lack of emotional exchange with other men. The moment the emotional exchange happens the sexual drive diminishes.
- Also – sexual energy is enhanced with the “forbidden fruit” concept which is the outcome of decades of suppression and discrimination. What is forbidden gets exaggerated. When gay sex is no longer forbidden – it looses its power and people no longer crave it so much.
- Lastly, gay sexuality is expressed inside a “period of sexual completion” which is a developmental stage that asks for experimentation. When a man is not “completed sexually” he will have unusual cravings, vivid sexual fantasies and be dominated by thoughts of sexual contact. In time this diminishes when the awareness and authenticity is part of sexual exchange. In the absence of authentic sexuality – sexual completion is difficult to attain and the man is perpetually trapped in the sexual vortex.
Those three reasons explain why gay men struggle with sexuality. Once the struggle is over, the man awakens to a real need for intimacy with another man and a healthy long term relationship is possible.
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