See the enclosed photo and you will see a typical message after an initial meeting.  Even though the meeting was a “coffee chat”, the person interpreted it as a date prior to entering a “relationship”.  The person was an older gentleman who was very nice and charming, but I was not looking for a relationships – all I wanted is a coffee chat and get to know him as an acquaintance and a friend.

The main outcome/goal of this meeting was to get to know the person, so even though he is asking for a “relationship”, I don’t directly say that it will not happen, all I am saying in my reply is what I am looking for and subliminally let him decide if he wants to be part of it. This way I turn the table around and I let him reject me and stay in control.  If he decides to reject or accept my message, I win in both cases because I never hurt his ego and as a result he will be nice to me the next time we meet.

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