Do you sometimes feel that monogamy is very difficult to maintain? Wouldn’t it be easier if we all just decided that monogamy is overrated and occasional fling is acceptable? I think so.
Here is why:
1. Monogamy invites dishonesty.
If you give a guy an ultimatum -> stay monogamous or else move out, then the guy will lie about it until you catch him. And once a person starts lying about monogamy than the lies start spreading into other parts of the relationship and eventually result in a breakup.
2. Monogamy is unnatural from the biological point of view.
True. Men are supposed to bread with multiple partners. Monogamy is not supported by biology/anthropology research.
3. Monogamy is imposed by religion.
Very true. Monogamy has its purpose in that it restricts the natural behavior of a man so that a family lifestyle is possible. If open relationships were the norm, family life would be close to impossible in a straight environment because men would have multiple offspring with different women.
Open relationships in a gay environment give the following benefits:
1. Framework for honesty and open conversation.
I experienced the benefits of pure honesty with one of my boyfriends and it feels very good. To be able to express all desires to someone is actually very healthy. I remember that it was enough for me to express my wishes than to actually meet someone for sex. So the honesty actually limits the extra-marital activities in some way because you feel you are the person making the decision and not the other person imposing their views on you.
2. Opportunity to learn about each other.
Open relationships are a perfect way to start a relationship and learn about each others preferences in the bedroom and in general. True love will happen quicker if you know your partner. You will never get to know your partner if you try to impose monogamy on him. Sex is an important part of most men and the preferences vary so widely that if you try to restrict that behavior you will eventually lose that person.
3. Reduce fear of ultimatums. ( I will break up with you if you do this…or that…)
I remember when one of my bfs initially introduced monogamy. I agreed but felt like it was going to break us up. He wanted to control me rather than let me fall in love with him my own way. If a person knows that they can do anything they want – they will fall in love with you quicker.
Who is monogamy for? Monogamy was created by priests and nuns that never experienced relationships. Monogamy is not practical and poses threats to any relationship.