How to let go of the story for why you can’t have love in your life and 3 STEPS for how to create a relationship that work:
When we get hurt, disappointed and frustrated with gay dating and gay relationships, we often create a STORY for why relationships are frustrating and difficult. We sometimes take it further by becoming judgmental and bitter about love and other gay men. Some men talk themselves into believing that other gay men are not “relationship material” and that gay men in general are all about sex.
If you have created such story for yourself, today is the time you can let go of it and re-define your gay dating and relationship efforts. With a fresh new mindset and an improved process, you can reduce your frustrations and create the committed relationship you always wanted with another man.
The first step is to remember that the past does not equal the future and that your future dating and relationship experiences can be much better, more enjoyable and loving. You don’t need to keep the story of past disappointments. You can choose a more empowering way to look at love and relationships in your life despite negative experiences from the past.
The second step is to be honest with yourself about your dating skills. Are you competent enough about how dating and relationships work? Have you looked into the psychology and gay dating, gay sexuality and relationships to identify the principles that support a healthy process of dating and relating?
In your career, to advance, you need to have a thorough understanding of your field, lots of practice and a go-getter mindset. Let’s apply the same thinking to gay dating and relationships.
In gay dating and relationships, you can choose to read some books, take courses and empower yourself with more knowledge of the principles that make relationships possible.
Many gay men make a mistake of assuming that dating and relationship psychology is not important – only to experience painful situations and disappointments. You can take your power back by learning more about gay dating so that you know how to date without mistakes that in the past created frustrations and challenges.
The third and final step is to get your emotional and physical energies back so that you have the motivation and the will power to “put yourself out there” and meet at least 2 new men every month.
When you let go of your story of dating frustrations and relationship challenges, you will still need to put yourself out there and meet gay men for dating. The reason why dating and relationships can feel like WORK is because your mental and emotional energies might be at their lowest point.
If you feel tired and exhausted because you work too much or because you are stretching yourself too thin by helping other people reach their goals, then you will not have enough energy to feel good about dating. The influence of your energies on your dating success is often forgotten. Dating can be fun and exciting but you will still need the energy and motivation to fuel that excitement.
This is why more sleep, more rest and rejuvenation is key to successful dating and relationships. When a person gets tired he is more likely to get cranky, nervous, aggressive and also jump to conclusions.
When you are tired you are less likely to be spontaneous and funny. When you are tired you are more likely to look for reasons why the person you are meeting is not compatible. When you are tired you will focus on instant gratification and look for sexual compatibility instead of looking for a long term personality match.
And when you are fully energetic – emotionally and physically, every date can turn into an exciting adventure because you can be fully present to the other person and have a desire to actually get to know him instead of waiting for him to entertain you.
More energy will allow you to be genuinely interested in who he is. You will become more patient and listen more carefully. More energy will allow you to be fully present and attentive to his communication and gestures. More energy will keep you upbeat and optimistic. Most importantly – more energy will allow you to be yourself and come across more alive and open minded.
Letting go of all stories about dating and relationships is important. Human interaction can be easily improved with a fresh and positive mindset, more awareness of the psychology of dating and higher level of energy. Within a few weeks, everyone can meet at least 2 new men and experience more fun with dating and relationships. You just need to give yourself the permission to stop complaining and let go of your past experiences. This is how you become ready to create the kind of relationship that last a life-time.