It is okay to ask someone about his financial situation but the downside to this approach is that you reveal your main focus.  If the other person doesn’t like someone who is materialistic, you will never get to a second or third date.  Also – most men who are financially compromised will end the relationship to protect the ego. ( admitting that someone is not doing well is bad for the male ego )

However, if you truly want to date someone with excellent credit score then you should make that clear at the beginning.  This is a losing strategy though.  Money issues can become personal and different cultures value money differently. On top of that, there are the adventurous types who will spend it right away and there are the “savers” who will put money away and brag about it.  The most important thing is not whether the person has money or how much, but whether the person is independent.

In current economy I would recommend that you are more sensitive to the money issue since lots of people are going through changes.  In addition, financial questioning implies judgment and criticism.  You should ask yourself this question:  what is the desired goal?  The money or the person?

The strategy is different for those who are already in relationships. At that time, money issues should be discussed and rules established so that people share and contribute fairly.

2 Comments

  1. I agree that the main concern is financial independence, in whatever form that may take. Unless you are a sugar daddy looking for a boy toy, discussing employment and or financial resources is inappropriate on a first or second date.

  2. I once dated this guy. His profile said some kind of “doctor” (I honestly do not remember), anyway, without assuming anything at all I never really questioned it. After I think the 5th date or so the topic came out and he was very impressed by me not asking him about it. I think it certainly let’s the other person know what you are looking for when asking the touchy questions and the timing is not correct. I think we need to know certain things about the person but there are ways of asking without having to put anyone on the spot. The same goes with nationality status. Instead of asking…”are you legal in this country?” you can ask, “how long have you lived in Florida?” If the person has been here for a week chances are that the INS will be knocking on your door soon.

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