In this amazing interview with Arnie Vargas, we talk about relationship issues for gay men over 40. Today we are speaking with Arnie Vargas, psychotherapist and relationship coach from Cape May, NJ and New York City. Arnie has worked for 22 years with individuals and couples helping them with individual and relationship issues.  Arnie has been with the same partner for 16 years and practices what he preaches.

Click on the link below to listen to the audio interview.

Click Here To Listen to the interview: Arnie Vargas – Gay Men Over 40 Relationship Issues

Important points:

  1. Know why you are entering the relationship.
  2. What are you looking to get out of a date and the relationship.
  3. Have you ever had a successful relationship? If yes, can you apply a similar methodology?
  4. Stop comparing yourself to your straight counterparts. Just because your friends are in a relationship, it doesn’t mean you have to have one right now.
  5. Pay for dinner if you suggest the date.
  6. Get rid of your laundry list and bring value into the relationship.
  7. Younger people and the entitlement concept.
  8. Fear of commitment.
  9. Can an older person use his experience with a woman in earlier years for a successful relationship with a man?
  10. Apathy breaks up relationships.  Men lack proper communication.
  11. Guilt and shame from early childhood.
  12. Older person should make the approach first.  Do not wait.  Express your admiration towards the younger guy quickly.
  13. Men are horrified of being alone.
  14. All men are sensitive. We need to communicate with caution and sensitivity.

You can visit Arnie’s website.


  1. This is a wonderful interview. I can totally identify myself with the things you are talking about. I am older and I do prefer to go out with someone younger, but I am too shy to be the first to admit that I am interested and I am waiting for the younger guy to initiate physical contact. I bet I am losing a big chunk of my dates because of my lack of confidence.

    Your interview inspired me to reach out and be more “confident” and aggressive in my pursuits.


    • I am glad you found the interview helpful. It is interesting that older guys feel the younger men should initiate the contact. Being attracted to older guys myself I actually wait for the older guy to get it started…so it is an amazing puzzle in which we are all waiting LOL and wishing. The simple solution is to as the Nike ad says “Just Do It”!

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