Gay Life Coaching: Authentic Friends Come Before Boyfriends!
New insight into creating COMMITTED gay relationships shows that creating a solid support system is more important than finding love. When you have a group of 3-5 authentic, genuine friends you are satisfying psychological needs that no longer make you anxious and emotional about being single. This creates more freedom to be yourself and you no longer fear the dating process
Why are authentic gay friends more important than boyfriends?
Let’s say that you really want your life to unfold in extraordinary ways. What you’re going to need first is not a lover but a group of friends.
Why? Let’s take a look.
Let me show you why this is very important. We’ve got two people, Person A and Person B, and these red squares symbolize their needs. Now, imagine that we have all the same needs. We do have the same needs, such as the need of being cared for, of loving others, of being loved, the need for companionship, for touch, for intimacy, or for various types of validation.
We all have the same needs. It doesn’t matter where you’re from; it doesn’t even matter what culture you come from. Human beings have almost all the same kind of needs.
Now imagine Person A has six authentic, genuine friends.
Let’s assume that in this situation he has gay friends; these are not straight friends, these are not women, nor straight men. So in this situation this man can meet some of his needs through friendships, right?
In the other situation, however, Person B does not have any friends, or he may have friends that are women or straight friends, thereby his needs are not going to be met the same way as Person A.
So what happens next? Let’s look.
With Person A, because his needs are met through a group of authentic friendships, he will have a more patient, calm, and rational perspective and the mindset for searching for a lover and in the meantime, enjoying his life with his friends.
He will be more successful in finding love and happiness this way. What will happen to Person B? Because his needs are not met through authentic friendships with other gay men, he will then project all of those needs on to a lover.
He’s going to be needy for love, he’s going to be very emotional and very irrational, and thereby his life will be full of short-term relationships and long-term frustrations.
So the biggest take-away for you from this quick-start coaching session is that you want to create authentic friends first, and once you create that group then you can go out there and start looking for a lover.
Another benefit is that not only are you creating friendships that match your interests and hobbies, but then when you actually look for that boyfriend, that relationship, he will also match and click with the friends who are already present in your life.
So I hope that you enjoyed this quick-start 60-second session of Gay Life Mastery, and until I talk to you next time go out there, think big, stay present, and be a leader in your life today.
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