Overcome Denial, Avoidance And Fear. Why Gay Men Need New Kinds Of Friends In 2017
Discover how to choose your friends for greater success in 2017.
Today’s economic instability and fear can paralyze even the strongest of men. To come “unstuck” and to adapt quickly to the changes in the political and economic environment, you will need to surround yourself with friends and lovers who encourage change instead of holding you back with complaints, negativity and helplessness.
To succeed in 2017, you will have no choice but to become more selective about your friends and lovers.
Psychologists have shown that the biggest obstacle to success in business, health and relationships is self-sabotage in the form of denial, avoidance and fear.
Think about your most important goal(s) and the obstacles you are facing. Now, look at the obstacles from the perspective of denial, avoidance and fear.
If you are honest with yourself, you will quickly see that the biggest obstacle is not your external environment, but your “inner world” with hidden patterns of denial, avoidance and fear of doing the things that create progress.
The biggest and most dangerous pattern is denial because it creates cynicism, helplessness and victimization. First, denial happens when you have a challenge but you cannot see it or you negate its existence.
Denial is like blindness!
You may be aware that something is not right, but you are not willing to fully accept it. So, your situation doesn’t change because you cannot see the problem. This is where anger, judgments and hostility show up.
After many months of rationalizations, denial produces a mindset that the solution to the problem does not exist. So instead of looking for solutions, you make yourself feel bad and eventually give up. This is how lots of gay men get paralyzed in life!
How can you quickly identify the area of your life where you see lots of denial?
Look for your rationalizations, excuses and defenses. The more you are defending yourself, especially with anger and judgments, the more in denial you may be about what is really happening.
We need smart friends and lovers in our lives who can point out the obvious denial related to love, money and health and help us get the awareness, skills and knowledge necessary to face the problems we have difficulty accepting.
Avoidance is a child-like mindset in the presence of an adult-level problem.
Avoidance usually happens when you are not taking responsibility for your actions and hope someone else solves your problem. In gay men, avoidance is common during.
Instead of dating with purpose and intention, most gay men avoid doing the things that create the connection and bonding.
You may know that you need to call him, compliment him and invite him to a nice dinner, but you avoid that because “you don’t think it will make a difference”. Avoidance is often connected to personal insecurities and lack of commitment.
You will need the kind of friends who after listening to your challenges in relationships will sit down with you and show you how you are avoiding to do the things that are important during dating and encourage you to increase your responsibility to produce the result you want.
Fear happens when you are disconnected from other men who are strong and competent. Most gay men who experience fear of intimacy, for example, rarely have open discussions about love and friendships with other men. The same applies to health and money. Fear rarely exists inside strong communities and strong groups of friends.
Fear is a common issue, but it doesn’t have to paralyze you. To shift from fear into action you will first need friends and lovers who can give you a warm hug, and restore your sense of safety, so that you can trust your abilities again. To face fear and do what “needs to be done”, you will need strong and assertive friends in your life who can elevate you above pessimism towards courage.
To solve current life’s challenges, you want to seek out those friends who will help you see the truth, encourage you to be responsible and inspire you to be courageous despite fear. Time waste and laziness are no longer an option for successful gay professionals.
Big Gay Family can help you overcome denial, avoidance and fear by introducing you to intelligent gay men who are happy to discuss with you the challenges in your relationships, health and business and help you see your own hidden patterns that stand in between you and the life you want to create.
Visit http://www.BigGayFamily.com and see the free video training.
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