In this video, you will learn how to incorporate monogamy into gay dating and gay relationships for the greatest probability of success.
So what is challenging about monogamy? The challenge is about a misunderstanding about what monogamy is and why people want it.
Monogamy is basically a sexual restriction. It is a behavioral restriction. Once you look at it this way you quickly see that most people will not be able to do it. Try to restrict yourself with coffee or your favorite food and you will quickly see that it is almost impossible.
The same applies to sexuality. It is almost impossible for a regular gay man to contain his sexual energies, let alone to contain them for long amounts of time. This is where monogamy comes back to hurt you. How? Those men who want monogamy, but are not ready to contain their sexual energies will end up lying about sex to their lovers. And those lies will lead to the destruction of that relationship.
The best way to look at monogamy is to look at it as a gift you give your lover when you are ready. Monogamy at this stage is voluntary. But even in that stage, the decision has to be made based on an authentic evaluation of sexual experience, sexual completion, and self-control.
So, when you are ready to be monogamous with someone, tell him you want to be monogamous with him and give him some time to return the favor. Only when he is ready you can both enter into a monogamous relationship.
My final thought about monogamy is that it can be a double-edged sword. Most gay men are very private about their sex life. You want to encourage sexual conversations if you want a healthy long term relationship…but if you introduced monogamy too early, you might set up your lover to lie about his sexual habits and with that shut down any communication about sex.
I personally believe that giving your lover full freedom is the only way for a long term relationship. He will have sex anyway with whomever he wants. Men, in general, all lie about their sexual fantasies and desires. So I decided a long time ago not to fall into the traps of sexual restriction and instead promote sexual freedom and openness. Truth in sexuality is rare, but once it’s there – it can set you free!
Enjoy the video,
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