How to create passion, adventure and fun in gay dating for men over 40
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Making dating exciting is essential because great relationships always start from great dating experiences. The more passion and excitement you can bring to the date, the deeper and fuller the connection with your new man.
Often, in the absence of excitement, two people feel only moderate attraction or are neutral about their desire for each other, but when you add passion, all of a sudden the attraction level goes up and the connection can become an unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime moment of sharing, participating and laughing – the ultimate way to start a new relationship.
The challenge for many gay men is that they are still waiting for others to enterntain them, to excite them and to arouse them. This mindset of waiting is common all across the board with gay relationship process, but nowhere else is it as pronounced and as destructive as in dating.
Often, in the absence of fun and excitement, two people feel moderate attraction, but when you sprinkle passion, all of a sudden the attraction level goes up. Another challenge is the list of expectations that we carry in our minds about who the person is supposed to be or what he is supposed to look like.
And when he does not match those expectations, we are dissapointed and leave the dating experience in a negative mood. But it doesn’t have to be this way ;)
So throw away your passivity and throw away your list of expectations and get ready to have the best time of your life during dating.
To start – make a list of all the exciting things that you like to be doing on your own – activities that make you feel good, happy and excited. Those could include your hobbies or interests.
For me, that includes:
- Playing the guitar,
- Going for a walk,
- Going to a museum,
- Going to church,
- Reading a book,
- Running on the beach,
- Going to a meditation retreat,
Then – find ways to incorporate your own activities into the dating process so that when he meets you – you shine with happiness and excitement because you are doing what you love and are not waiting for him to enterntain you.
For me, this would mean to invite my date to a meditation retreat, then ask him to join me for a walk and then ask him to sit down and hear me play the guitar. I used to do that before and it was so much fun – I never even paid much attention to what he thought of me or whether we were “sexually compatible”.
And one thing you will discover when you add passion to your dating is that most of the blockages and obstacles to connecting to another man quickly dissapear and you find yourself “taken” by him for all the legitimate reasons instead of focusing on a sexual connection or playing out an attraction game.
Dating works when you are having fun and when you are uninhibited in your energies and sharing. Such experiences are difficult to create when you are inside a boring coffee shop or when you are looking to be mesmorized and enterntained by him.
In the long run, those people who have amazing relationships are those who have mastered passionate dating because every high quality lover would never pass by someone interesting, expressive and passionate.