What is marriage? Why is it so important for many gay men? To me, gay marriage represents the ultimate goal – stability, happiness, and love. It is not just a relationship – it is a symbol of accomplishment in all areas of life. It is a reward for the effort, the struggle and the consistency of pursuing the right actions.
We lose belief in relationships when we lack the skills to make them work. Lack of skills often comes with the feeling of entitlement – which can create confusion and disappointment. This is why the process of believing in relationships begins with the development of skills. Based on 8 years of coaching and training, I have found that three core skills are necessary.
Your relationship with art is one of the most important relationships you will have in your life – similar to the relationship with your lover and the relationship with God. Those gay men who have an ongoing relationship with art, often show emotional availability, self-awareness, and curiosity – traits that make personal relationships easier and longer.
Psychedelics are a miracle – something that fell off a UFO giving humans access to instant transformation of the mind, body and spirit. Not having psychedelics experiences is like never having sex. 10 years of therapy is equivalent to one session of psychedelic mushrooms done in a safe way.
Many gay men who are very successful in their careers struggle in relationships for years, confused about the reason. Is it about them? Is it about their choices of partners? What is going on that makes it difficult for them to make relationships work?
Relationships are possible for every gay man regardless of age, body type and experience. But relationships are not possible for those gay men who are still living in the space of shame and primitivism. Grindr is a classical example of a culture of shame and tribalism – reducing the complex and intricate meaning of relationships to the primitive and tribal. Grindr rejects all values that make healthy relationships possible and emphasizes a “throw away” culture and anti-human attitudes.
Gay relationships don’t exist in a vacuum of empty space. Cultural norms that promote sexual compatibility need to be rejected. Instead – those cultural norms that promote emotional connections and spiritual growth – must be developed and build to create a healthy container for a serious and long term relationship.