Meet Paul

Since 2010, Paul has been teaching gay men strategies and mindsets about how to create healthy, long-term relationships and marriages.

To help gay men meet and connect faster, Paul started the Big Gay Family Social Program, which is a comprehensive solution for a professional gay man seeking friendships and relationships without the frustrations and rejections common to online dating and hookup websites.

By 2018, Paul has spent over 9,000 hours coaching and guiding his clients in the areas of gay dating and relationships.  With over 600 publicly available videos about gay psychology, Paul is the world’s leader in the education of psychology of romantic relationships and gay sexuality.

Paul’s contribution to the world of gay psychology includes the development of a brand new gay philosophy called Gay Idealism and a brand-new framework for gay sexuality that simplifies dating, creates commitment and monogamy.

Life Philosophy

Think Big

Create a Big Vision and raise above self-doubt. Practice courage daily. Remove distractions and don’t let others stop you from dreaming big ideas.

Stay Present

Immerse yourself in spiritual practices so that you are strong, clear and grounded. Stay present to all obstacles without fear and self-doubt.

Be A Leader

Don’t be afraid of life. Quiet down so that you can hear your inner voice. Listen to it! Create your own context. Do the difficult thing with excellence.

Personal Life

Have you been to the mountains lately?

For me, mountains have become my second home.  I love hiking at night with lights clipped to my forehead.  Periodically I sit down on the ground in the deep forrest and turn the lights off and feel the vibrations of nature in total darkness.

Frank is amazing, despite losing his mom last year and his father this year.   We are having the best time of our lives hiking tall mountains, visiting cabins, trails, caves and hot tubs.  One fascinating part about hiking in late summer is the amount of mushrooms growing on the ground in the forests.   If you are a mushroom lover, summer and fall hikes in Colorado are a must.

Denver and Boulder have a thriving Sufi community.  I was originally introduced to the Sufi teachings by Ina Lee from Fort Lauderdale.  After 8 years of practicing Sufi meditations, I am a regular visitor at Boulder and Denver Sufi gatherings.

Sufi Zikr dance is in my opinion one of the most powerful experiential practice for reconnecting with a sense of inner-being and love – especially for gay men who have issues with intimacy and closeness.  Sufi teachings have become an important part of my life, giving me lots of new ideas for coaching programs and philosophical introspection.

Thanks for reading, enjoy the blog and videos.
Your friend & coach,

Current Big Projects

Big Gay Family

The mission of the Big Gay Family Social Program is to create a private community for professional gay men where life-long friendships and relationships happen easily and without the frustrations of today’s online dating.

Big Gay Family is for educated and professional gay men who seek fulfillment and happiness without distractions, drama and mistakes.  Big Gay Family facilitates the creation of relationship with monthly introductions, coaching and video training available for every member.

Communal Living

Would you like to live together with other gay men in a housing project that provides you with all living needs and simultaneously gives you immediate and unprecedented access to other gay men for friendships, relationships, partnerships and sharing?

The Communal Living Project is the extension of the Big Gay Family Social Program and gives members additional opportunity to create life-long relationships.  To learn more about this project, please join the Big Gay Family Social Program first.

Retreats And Expeditions

To help you experience deeper intimacy and friendships, we have put together retreats, workshops and expeditions.  These events help you experience friendships and relationships inside adventure, joy and lots of beauty.

Each experience connects you deeper with more men, helping you develop life-long friendships and relationships.  With each retreat and expedition you never lose contact with the men you meet because everyone is part of the social program that continues after each retreat and traveling experience.


“Big Gay Family is a perfect substitute to gay bars, online dating and short term relationships.  I have been looking for this type of service for years. Today, I am not on any websites, I don’t meet men at bars and I no longer have to worry about friends and lovers. Big Gay Family gives me introductions every month and I can finally relax and focus on my career and business.”

Steve from New York

“I joined Big Gay Family because I was tired of the games and rejections and disrespect from online dating and meeting shallow people.  Big Gay Family protects me from men who are not ready for a relationship and who are not mature enough for commitment.  I am very pleased with the services offered by Big Gay Family Social Program.”

Jim from Miami

Join The Family

Change your life by changing how you meet men.