If you think that muscles and ripped looks are the key to finding a boyfriend, you are wrong.  They might get extra attention, but based on recent research and observation, guys who are overly preoccupied with “weight lifting” and protein powder drinks ( supplements ) actually stand a lower chance for getting a loving, successful relationship.  Before I tell you why, keep in mind that I have been in the fitness industry for over 20 years and have worked as a personal trainer.  I have been in top shape all my life and speak from experience.  Here are 7 reasons why muscles are not enough:

1.  Musculature is usually associated with supplements, heavy weight lifting, stomach aches,  burping, bowel movements and gas.

While muscles are pretty on the outside, what is inside is a different story.  Dangerous chemicals are present in many supplements today and testosterone supplements are easy to get.  The ripped muscular looks is also often the outcome of AIDS drugs and more and more people are aware of this connection.  This is why aiming for that “look” is a double edged sword.  Do you want to be with someone who farts all the time, complains of irritable bowel syndrome, takes countless vitamins and supplements?

2. Gym time takes away from self-development time.

When a guy spends so much time at the gym, there is less time for career and self development.    The longevity of a relationship does not depend on the size of one’s muscles but on the ability to get along, communicate well and share experiences together.   Spending time on one’s career and personal development are better choices. This does not mean that you should abandon your physique.  On the contrary – as you learn about yourself and about your body through self development, you will find ways to stay lean without having to go resort to supplements and constant visits at the gym.

3. Most muscular men are considered very promiscuous – not a good association if you want to be in a relationship.

The basic reason for this association is that if someone pays so much attention to their body, they want to advertise it. As they advertise it, they get more exposure to opportunities to meet and have sex with other guys.  Of course not all muscular guys are like that, but nevertheless, this association is well established.

4. Most gyms are “meat markets”.

While this is not always true,  most gay gyms are basically a “meat market”.   If you are dating someone, the other person will always be thinking that you are meeting up with others from the gym. This will introduce additional stress and can create tension in a relationship.  Remember that men are very territorial.  Being open minded is easy for some and more difficult for others.  I would always recommend for guys who are in a relationship to work out at a gym that is not gay.

5. The intimidation factor.

Muscular body can be  intimidating.  Hollywood emphasizes big muscular bodies as the ultimate weapon of “mass seduction” but the contrary can also be true.  Think of the last time you saw a very muscular, ripped guy with his shirt off.  Did yo go up to him and say “You look great” ?  Probably not.   I know of countless examples of guys that I eventually started to talk with who previously were too intimidated to walk up to me and say hi.  I then realized that showing off my body by wearing tight clothes can backfire.

6. More competition.

This one is simple.  If there is more competition, some guys get turned off.  Those guys usually lack self-confidence but they are also looking for a “sure thing”.  They are looking for certainty that you will not choose someone else over them.  This fear is very common by the way.  You can see this in practice each time someone asks you “where do you hang out”.  This question is to learn if you are exposed to lots of opportunities for meeting others and if you are a “high risk” person for finding someone “better”.   As a result many men who want loyalty, commitment and responsibility prefer to go after an “average looking” guy as opposed to a person for whom there is lots of competition.

7. Most guys who impress with their bodies, have nothing else to impress with.

This one hurts, but its true.  Some people “think” that if a guy puts so much time into his physique, there cannot possibly be other interesting things about him. This stereotype is fueled by negative experiences with “hot” guys that led to disappointments and rejection.

In Conclusion:

If you are muscular and go to the gym all the time,  you have to address the above reasons if you want to solidify your relationship.  It is your job to reassure your date that you are the perfect candidate for a relationship by toning down your “body advertising”.  Your looks will get you the initial phone number, the first date and most likely you will get laid, but having a successful relationship with a man you like will depend on how you will address the issues above.  Good luck.

1 Comment

  1. Very interesting. I agree that muscles and body are not enough for a relationship. Being able to create a comfortable environment for 2 people to come together is also important as you mentioned above.

    No matter how good looking someone is, if the other person is always worried about the competition – the relationship will be filled with fights and jealousy. Men are territorial by nature. Making each other comfortable and secure will enable the relationship to blossom.

    Thanks!

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