If you are a gay man who wants to get married and settle down in NYC, Miami or Los Angeles, you will need to do things differently in 2018. First you will need to understand how cultural values of consumerism and sex impact the psychology of men during dating.
Without that understanding you will set yourself up for rejection, judgments and frustration and lose the belief in love and relationships. This is how lots of gay men end up cynical and skeptical of gay relationships.
You don’t want your efforts to go against the “wave” of socially conditioned attitudes towards relationships, including the culture of consumerism and sex. No healthy relationships can happen when two men choose to validate each other through sex and possessions.
In NYC, where social values emphasize money, achievement and cut-throat competition – relationships are difficult to start because the men who value money, achievement and success do not tolerate under performance, weaknesses and differences – all of which are part of human condition and are to be accepted, not rejected.
Acceptance, compassion and understanding take too much effort for anyone whose primary goal of life is to make money, outperform competitors and have the best sex ever. Men who chase those values rarely experience true romance and love. Instead they regress into a child-like understanding of relationships and sabotage their personal life. The regression into a simplistic and infantile understanding of relationships leads many gay men in their 40’s and 50’s to look at other men as sex toys to be used and thrown away.
Those men who succeed in NYC with money, achievement and power are unable to connect for a normal relationship. They don’t understand that love and relationships happen inside the domain of emotion and to them the irrationality of human nature and the complexity of emotional expression is a dangerous territory that distracts them from success, money and power.
The amount of effort that is necessary to break through the differences during dating and to accept the surprises inside a relationship is too much effort to ask of a typical New Yorker who is constantly trying to succeed in his career and who has no patience for others mistakes, and who is blind to his own imperfections and illusions – which are projected on others and used as a reason to reject them.
Gay men who live in big cities such as NYC, Los Angeles and Miami and who want to experience a healthy gay relationship need to do the following:
- Disconnect from the values of consumerism and sex.
- Avoid turning relationships into entertainment, commodity and fun.
- Meet men inside the protected environment and under the supervision of guardians who promote healthy relationship attitudes and behaviors and push away the myths perpetuated by ignorance and ambivalence.
Decades of confusing and simplistic advice about relationships have infantilized gay men world-wide. Trashy and vulgar behaviors are promoted while integrity, honesty and effort are rejected. This is why most gay men find relationships very confusing.
To offset the social regression and the influences of consumerism and culture and to help gay men find a safe place to create relationships, we created the Big Gay Family Social Program.
Every gay man who enters the program and experiences healthy interactions discovers the lost art of connection and relatedness that makes relationships exciting, inspirational and transformational.
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Enjoy the invitation to the Big Gay Family Social Program below. It will change your life!
Connection Blueprint: 5 Steps To Lifelong Gay Relationships
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